Apr 30, 2009

Hunky Heroes - DC

It's no secret. I love men. That's not to say, on occasion, I haven't uttered the words "I hate men." What girl hasn't? But for all their flaws, I still dig 'em. You may also be aware I like certain literary items called comic books. I don't know if you've noticed this but there are MEN in comic books! "Not real men," you say? I laugh in your general direction - I've seen plenty of comic book characters who are better men than most of my ex-boyfriends will ever be. Here, in alphabetical order because I couldn't bring myself to rank them, are a few of my favorite Hunky Heroes from DC Comics.

Albert Rothstein isn't the hunkiest of names but his superhero handle Atom Smasher more than makes up for that. Grandson of the Golden Age Atom, Atom Smasher would seem the generic body-builder type if not for what we know of his personality. He's been a member of Infinity Inc. and the Justice League but it wasn't until he joined the Justice Society that he won me over. His relationship with Stargirl has been the most romantic, non-romantic relationship I've ever seen. Sure, he wears a mask most of the time, but in this case it's his actions that make him attractive. And his muscles.

He could probably use a good wax but Beast Boy, aka Garfield Mark Logan, has no problem exposing his inner caveman. The adorable Teen Titan has grown into an attractive young man but his boyish sense of humor remains and we all know girls love a man who can make them laugh. Not to mention he can turn into your favorite cuddly animal on command.

John Trujillo, the newest Black Condor is still something of an enigma. His involvement with Uncle Sam and the Freedom fighters has shown he's definitely the dark, brooding type, which I'm a sucker for. Since he hasn't been in action that long, credit must go to artist Daniel Acuña for illustrating him as a super hottie. I like eyeliner on some guys and this kicks it up a notch to eleven.

For all those men out there who complain they never get the girl because they're "the smart one" or "the nice guy," look no further than the second Blue Beetle, Ted Kord. Was Ted ever particularly successful with the ladies? No, but he did have a thing for Barbara Gordon for a while, and although it was never consummated, she did like him too. Sadly, Ted's attractiveness comes mostly from his death. When Maxwell Lord shot him in the head for refusing to join his evil plan, he went from "the nice guy" to badass and showed us all the hero he really was.

You know, I've always preferred blue over red. Daniel Cassidy, aka Blue Devil, thought his dating days were over once he was turned from stuntman into a demon. He's been dead at least twice but nothing takes a licking like a cursed creature. He's got a great body and sad puppy dog eyes, what more could you ask for? Oh, and he's a good little Catholic boy so you can bring him home to mom. Just be sure to put the dog out first.

No, I don't have a thing for green skinned men, Querl Dox, aka Brainiac 5, is just plain hot. Credit goes to several artists on this one again though as I'm not well versed in the Legion of Super-Heroes. Sometimes, like in the recent Final Crisis: Legion of Three Worlds, he's depicted with long-hair, which I find particularly attractive. He can be a little mentally unbalanced sometimes but I can ignore that. He's got a big brain.

Chances are, if you showed a picture of Connor Kent, aka Kon-El, aka Superboy, to a girl who isn't into comics, she'd still have a crush on him. Who knew a hybrid of Superman and Lex Luthor would be smokin'? For those of us in the know, his relationship with Wonder Girl is one for the ages. Even if we hate her just a little bit for it. Forget his old costumes, there's something about jeans and a simple tight, black t-shirt that gets my heart pounding. "Isn't it cool?"

Ralph Dibny, the Elongated Man. Enough said.

Personally I think Green Arrow is one of the biggest hunks in the DCU but his ward and former sidekick Roy Harper is growing on me. He's gone by many names, Speedy, Arsenal and most recently Red Arrow. His relationships with Donna Troy and Chesire were short-lived, though he fathered a daughter with the latter. Unfortunately he's taken on some of GA's less-attractive personality traits, i.e. sleeping around, but I can ignore his latest escapades seeing as how Hawkgirl really did a number on him. Now where did those handcuff arrows go to...

I'm glad Sodam Yat came in last alphabetically because he's my new favorite. He's a Daxamite, the new Ion and will possibly end up being the very last Green Lantern ever. In fact, with his Ion powers he might just be the most powerful hero in the universe. He's definitely kicked some major bad guy butt so far but we've most likely only seen the tip of the iceberg if all the prophecies come true. To me he seems like an amalgamation of all the Earth Lanterns - he's got John's precision, Hal's confidence, Kyle's mental anguish and take a look at that face and tell me you don't see Guy shining through. Don't forget ladies, he's got x-ray vision.

Did you like this? Check back tomorrow for Bodacious Baddies - DC.

Apr 29, 2009

DoubleDCoverage #5

I'm back with another installment of DoubleDCoverage at the Girls Entertainment Network!

Neil Gaiman tells us something we’ve been dying to know - Whatever happened to the Caped Crusader? - and Superwoman is FINALLY unmasked! Did you guess correctly for either? Reviews for Detective Comics #853 and Supergirl #40 are ahead, also, check out my star ratings for my other pulls from last Wednesday!

Click here to check out DoubleDCoverage #5.

Apr 28, 2009

Hello, Snotface!

Mother, do you remember when I was little, I had a friend, he was make-believe? Drop Dead Fred is being reborn! Oddly enough, I'm really excited about that. So excited, I feel the need to make a mud pie.

The best part? Universal is remaking the kookie early 90's comedy with none other than British comedian Russell Brand in the lead role says The Hollywood Reporter. "The take for the new 'Fred' is to make a film in the tone of 'Beetlejuice,' building a universe around the concept of imaginary friends," they wrote. Dennis McNicholas, who's no stranger to remakes, will be penning the new script. He's one of the writers on Universal's upcoming Land of the Lost. Producer for the now filming Scott Pilgrim movie, Marc Platt, will take on that same role for Fred as well.

As much as I loathe most remakes, I can honestly say I can't wait to see this one. Even though I never had an imaginary friend growing up, Drop Dead Fred was one of my favorite movies. And I think you'd be hard-pressed to find someone more suited for the role than Brand. My suggestion for Phoebe Cates' character? Jessica Alba. What do you think?

Apr 27, 2009

The Nerdy Bird Adores - Jack of Fables #33

I've been in love with Babe the Blue Ox from Jack of Fables since he first arrived. It wasn't long before everyone realized he was the real star of the book. Hell, the only reason I'm still reading Jack is because of him. A full page has been devoted to his vivid imagination ever since. Honestly, I adore each and every one but I was waiting for something extra special to write one of my posts on. Who knew it would be something as simple as this?

"Have YOU seen a little blue pig?" Awww! Poor Babe never gets the respect he deserves. He's so confused, it's adorable! Of course, the gaggle of characters surrounding him adds to the cuteness factor as well. Never have a question mark and two exclamation points said so much. 

This is Part 2 of the 9-part Great Fables Crossover event taking place within three Vertigo titles. Jack of Fables, Fables proper and a new book called The Literals will have three issues each through June. "The Great Fables Crossover is just one, solid, comprehensible story, planned well in advance," says Aldous Pogue, President of the Anti Great Fables Crossover Society,"[It] makes actual, lasting changes to the fictional Fables universe." As long as Babe's still tiny and has a place in that new universe, I'll be happy. 

Apr 24, 2009

Do you know your Lantern symbols?

With the War of Light approaching faster than, well...light, it's important to have all your information in order. Blackest Night #0, being released on Free Comic Book Day, will give us brief dossiers on what each Corps is about but Ethan Van Sciver spoke with Newsarama specifically about their respective symbols.

"The one thing they all have in common, I'm sure almost everyone has noticed by now that there is a ring in the center. There is a circle. And that means something. And that something will be addressed in Blackest Night," Van Sciver said in the first installment of his interview. Apparently it's not just because they physically all wear rings. He continued, "I think that it's safe to say even the idea of wearing a ring comes from somewhere and means something." Intriguing, very intriguing.

Here's what he had to say about each design:

Rage - Red (Lanterns)
"I poked around a little bit for different symbols in the DC Universe, and I loved the Manhunters from Geoff's first story arc on Green Lantern, so I took the little lines from their chest, and I put the little circle in between them. That doesn't actually have any big meaning behind it or anything."

Avarice - Orange (Lanterns)
"With the Orange Lanterns, which are obviously going to be the opposite of the Indigo Lanterns, I just kind of reversed that so that the arrows were pointing inward, and then I broke it a little bit so it would kind of suggest a person. You know, a singular kind of "me." It's all about "me" – an individual rather than something more universal. And that's where that symbol came from. It's no accident that it looks like a little devil. It's intentional."

Fear - Yellow (Sinestro Corps)
"The original design for Parallax created by Darryl Banks inspired that Sinestro Corps symbol. I was just trying to lift the motif from something that already existed and that we were familiar with."

Willpower - Green (Lanterns)

Hope - Blue (Lanterns)
"The idea was to invert that Sinestro Corps symbol to create the opposite. Hope. I tried to have them all be the opposite of their counterpart on the other end of the spectrum."

Compassion - Indigo (Tribe)
"They're [arrows] pointing outward from the top and bottom. So it ends up making a lantern shape, but the little triangular shapes point outward, so it's a giving kind of suggestion."

Love - Violet (Star Sapphires)
"I'm not exactly thrilled with that one because it is so dissimilar to everything else. I guess I probably would have liked to have gone and done some sort of reversal of the Red Lantern symbol. But my attitude was, and the rule book I set up for myself was that, wherever something already existed, use that. And so, since the Star Sapphires already had this kind of star shape associated with them, the answer was just to poke a hole in it like a doughnut and call it the Violet Lantern symbol."

Black (Lanterns)
"That's the symbol that Black Hand uses on his uniform – his newly designed uniform. So the credit would go to either Geoff Johns or Peter Tomasi or somebody. I really like his new costume design, but I didn't design that. I was assigned to design a Black Lantern symbol, and I thought, why? Let's just use this and keep everything consistent. And everyone agreed."

Even with all that explanation, Van Sciver pointed out that to him, these symbols have been around since the creation of emotion itself. "So, for example, when fear was devised and fear was created and Parallax was born, that symbol was created by the very first beings to know what fear was," he said, "I mean, you can go back to Green Lantern: Rebirth and see very primitive creatures drawing very primitive Parallax shapes on cave walls. It's always existed."

Now I understand what Geoff Johns meant when he said Van Sciver is constantly adding tiny clues in his art to the future of a run. He said that everything you need to know about Flash: Rebirth is in the first issue. Really makes you want to take out a magnifying glass doesn't it? The dead will rise July 15.

Apr 23, 2009

Nerdy News

The heroes in a half-shell are back in live-action says Variety. Not only that, we're getting their origin story. Turtle power!

The Mirage Group is moving forward with a new film they hope to release in 2011. "Legendary Pictures former chief marketing officer Scott Mednick is producing the new pic alongside Galen Walker, who produced the 2007 computer-animated "TMNT" pic, the most recent installment in the franchise," reported Variety. Peter Laird, one of the original creators, will be executive producing. 

"The original dozen comics created by Peter Laird and Kevin Eastman are some of the best source material one could hope for," said Mednick. Laird added, "the pic may employ face replacement technology, which would allow the turtles to be much more expressive."

TMNT's 25 anniversary celebration kicks off today in New York. The first film will be shown at the Tribeca Film Festival and look out for the Empire State Building - tonight it will be "turtle green."


Twitter has really become the best new source for fun news. Apparently this was let slip a few months back but I just learned that none other than Stephen Fry will be voicing the Cheshire Cat in Tim Burton's Alice In Wonderland.

Fry wrote on his Twitter account today, "Playing Cheshire Cat. Smug, complacent, cheese-eating grin - moi? Walking off to studio in next ten minutes." He certainly rounds out some of the best casting I've seen in years. Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter, Helena Bonham-Cart as the Red Queen, Anne Hathaway as the White Queen, Alan Rickman as the Catapillar and Christopher Lee as the Jabberwock.

In other cool Wonderland news, the film is set to be released in IMAX 3-D. "This is going to be an eye-popping cinematic experience as Tim takes moviegoers down the rabbit hole and into the dimensional world filled with incredible characters, sly humor, and wild adventures," said Mark Zoradi, President of Walt Disney Studios Motion Picture Group.


I know, there's been a lot of Twilight related news the last few weeks and I apologize to those of you who couldn't give a shit, but I do, so deal with it. 

It was just announced, 30 Days of Night director David Slade will be directing the third Twilight film, Eclipse. "Summit Entertainment has just signed Slade to the project, which it plans to release June 30, 2010," says The Hollywood Reporter

"Stephenie Meyer's 'Eclipse' is a muscular, rich, vivid book, and we at Summit looked long and hard for a director who could do it justice. We believe we have found that talent in David Slade, a director who has been able to create complex, visually arresting worlds," said Summit president of production Erik Feig. Stephenie Meyer said she's thrilled to have Slade directing the third film, "He's a visionary filmmaker who has so much to offer this franchise."

And no, this is not beefcake for beefcakes sake. USA Today got the first shot of the Wolf Pack from New Moon. The all Native American crew of Chaske Spencer, Alex Meraz, Kiowa Gordon and Bronson Pelletier join Taylor Lautner who returns as Jacob in the film. 

They've been dressed that way for most of the filming in chilly Vancouver. I'm sure it helped in the temper aspect of the role. Looks like they've given the pack tattoos as a sign of their solidarity, which is kind of odd. But I'm not complaining...especially not about the one on the left...

Apr 22, 2009

DoubleDCoverage #4

I'm back with another installment of DoubleDCoverage at the Girls Entertainment Network!

This week I had a theme without even realizing it - redheads. Green Arrow and Black Canary are in a terrible rut and their Fatal Attraction friend finally gets a name. Oracle decides to take a trip to Hong Kong which she realizes is just as dangerous as Gotham City. Reviews for Green Arrow/Black Canary #19 and Oracle: The Cure #2 are ahead, also, see my star ratings for my other pulls from last Wednesday!

Click here to check out DoubleDCoverage #4.

Apr 21, 2009

Return from the Ashes

The second season of the Life on Mars sequel, Ashes to Ashes aired last night on the BBC. Albeit with a slightly different look.

"We haven't gone down the silly '80s fashion route again because I don't think Alex would wear those clothes," Keeley Hawes, who plays DI Alex Drake, told We Love Telly! magazine according to Digital Spy. "When we first met her, she was given the things she wore, but now she's had a chance to go shopping," she said. 

Booo, I say. I loved the "silly 80's fashion." And what is up with the new hair? She looks straight out of Cagney & Lacey now, which is probably what they were going for, but the bad perm was so much better. She's not the only one with a new do though. If you watch the trailer for the new season you can see Chris has gone blonde! Now that, I like.

Hawes also told the magazine this season will be a lot darker than the last. "There are more stories on police corruption and less of the spoofy clown stuff this time." Ok, now they're just sucking ALL of the fun out of it. 

Apr 20, 2009

I Heart Harley Quinn

Harley Quinn is featured in this latest trailer for Batman: Arkham Asylum. Oh Mista J! 

"How'dya like my new uniform?" I absolutely love it! Definitely a possible future cosplay for me.

The thing I'm most excited about though is that Arleen Sorkin is reprising her role as Harley from Batman: The Animated Series, completing the trifecta with Kevin Conroy and Mark Hamill. The trailers all look great but I haven't heard much about how good the actual gameplay is. But seeing this, I kinda don't care. :)

Apr 17, 2009


One more Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince trailer? Sure! The best one yet? I'd have to say yes.


"In my life, I have seen things that are truly horrific. Now, I know you'll see worse," and the image after those words. Guh. Yeah that's pretty much all I can say, except - JULY 15!!!!!

Apr 16, 2009

Does a body good...bub.

Some people were made for Got Milk ad campaigns - Angelina Jolie comes to mind. Some however, were not. 

My power to regenerate might be top secret but my ability to re-energize is simple. Milk has protein to help build muscle and a unique mix of nutrients to help you refuel. So, eat right, train hard, and drink low fat milk. That's just common mutant sense.
A Hugh Jackman Got Milk ad, I could get behind, but not Wolverine. This is just as bad as when "Batman" had the mustache. Twice. I mean come on, this is the guy who said, "I'm the best there is at what I do. But what I do best isn't very nice." He shouldn't have anything on his face but BLOOD.

That being said, I love how the milk mustache sits under his actual mustache. Also, they mention building muscle, do they really want us to believe milk will give us Wolverine vein-popping muscles? Cuz...eek!

(You can download the wallpaper here if you're so inclined.)

Apr 15, 2009

DoubleDCoverage #3

It's time for another installment of DoubleDCoverage at the Girls Entertainment Network!

This week the S’s have the spotlight. I look at two titles that couldn’t be farther apart in plot and style - Superman: World of New Krypton and Secret Six. See what I mean and check out the star ratings for the other titles released last Wednesday!

Click here to check out DoubleDCoverage #3.

Apr 14, 2009

Green for Green Lantern?

Brian Austin Green really wants to know - would it be alright if he played Green Lantern Hal Jordan?

Comic Book Resources says Green is "actively campaigning" for the role and wants to "gage fans' excitement and earn their approval." Well, it's nice he asked. 

The actor, recently seen in Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles as Derek Reese, is currently producing the adaptation of Fathom with girlfriend Megan Fox. "I understand that I’m kind of a tough sell. I wouldn’t be what somebody would normally be looking for in a film like that, " he told CBR, "But at the same time, sometimes those risks are the things that seem to work and pay off the most."

Green understands they probably want someone younger to play Hal but hopes he'll be considered anyway. "I’ve always kind of felt that Hal Jordan needs to be a man. He needs to be somebody who lives a little and experienced a lot," he said. Even though he doesn't have much comic reading history, Green already seems to have a handle on the superhero mentality. "Would you go beat the shit out of somebody that you always wanted to beat up? Would you go destroy something you always wanted to destroy or would you go save people?" he said, "Still having the normal human feelings but having the power to do what ever you want. That’s a tough line to ride and for me that’s a fun character."

This is the first time Green has pushed for a role in this manner and told CBR he got the idea when a friend directed him to a fan-made picture of him as Hal online. "He sent me the link, I went on and some kid had just put my face on a classic Green Lantern shot, the one of him standing, making the fist with the ring on the finger," he said. At which point, I had to laugh because that's EVERY classic GL shot.

I'll say this, I never would have thought of him on my own but now that he's put himself out there, I could totally get behind him as Highball. I've never really liked him in anything previously but he was a breath of fresh air as Derek on SCC this season. CBR asked him if he'd read any of Geoff Johns' GL stories from the last few years. "No but I’m going to go get it tomorrow," he said. That's more than you can say for a lot of actors these days. What do you think?

Apr 13, 2009

Hot Werewolf turned Hot Vampire

You got a chance to see what a vampire/werewolf hybrid looked like in the movie Underworld. Now see one in real life. Sorta. British actor Michael Sheen has been cast as Aro in the Twilight sequel, New Moon.

Sheen, recently in the public eye thanks Frost/Nixon’s five Oscar nominations, has been idolized since 2003 by a more, shall we say...select crowd. This is due to his portrayal of the tragically sexy Lycan (werewolf) Lucian in the Underworld franchise. Over the weekend Variety reported he’d be switching teams to play the leader of the Volturi vampires.

Director of New Moon, Chris Weitz, told the Daily Mail he had aggressively pursued the actor for the role. “Michael’s role is so important because he’s the head of all vampires,” he said. “Aro is, on the surface, a very gracious and friendly vampire, but beneath that he is a tremendous threat.”

Two weeks ago, Jaimie Campbell Bower (Sweeney Todd) was cast as Aro’s fellow Volturi Caius. He told BBC News he hasn't read the books but that it's a great thing to be part of. "I doubt I'll get the same sort of adulation as Robert [Pattinson]- but it's always nice when people recognise you for your work," he said. Coincidentally enough, Bower's also been cast as a villain in another franchise Pattinson has been a part of - Gellert Grindelwald in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.

Back to the guy I only find attractive when he's playing fictional creatures. I'm extremely excited Sheen is going to be a vampire in New Moon, but I'm also pre-disturbing myself for finding Aro attractive. He so shouldn't be, but he will be and they've just gone and made me like this damn guilty pleasure of mine ten times more. I didn't think that was possible. Sheen will never want for sex a day in his life if he plays this right.

Apr 10, 2009

Buffy the Diaper Changer

Buffy is having a baby!!!

People.com is reporting Sarah Michelle Gellar and her husband, Freddie Prinze Jr. are expecting their first child together. Their source says she's due in the fall. The couple has been married for six years now. She is going to be so freaking adorable pregnant.

This delightful news comes on the heels of the less than reliable story earlier this week that Gellar is gearing up for a Buffy movie. Coincidentally enough, that article says, "There is an idea for a script and to pick the story up with Buffy older and maybe even a mother." Although their insider refers to her as "Michelle" so basically it's complete crap.  

It's almost like one of my friends is having a baby. I've "known" SMG almost my whole life. Remember Swans Crossing? And it's amazing theme song? Wow. Congratulations to the happy couple!

Apr 9, 2009

The Crowded Apple

They say competition breeds excellence. In this case, competition breeds angry nerds. Wizard Entertainment has acquired Big Apple Con. Come on guys, the Big Apple really isn't THAT big.

It's all over the internet now but I heard it first from Heidi MacDonald over at The Beat. The press release says Michael Carbonaro, who runs Big Apple Con, will continue to be involved in the show even though Wizard will be moving it from the Pennsylvania Hotel to Pier 94. Very interesting, but it gets more interesting when you look at the date they've picked out. It will be held the weekend of October 16-18, 2009. The same month the New York Comic Con will be held in 2010. Coincidence? Doubtful.

Earlier this year Reed Exhibitions, the force behind NYCC, announced they were opening a show in Illinois, the Chicago Comic and Entertainment Expo. Chicago of course, is the home of one of Wizards main conventions, Wizard World Chicago. Is Wizard fighting back by jumping on the fall date before NYCC gets there. Of course we don't know if the Wizard date will remain the same for 2010 but something tells me it will.

CEO of Wizard Entertainment Gareb Shamus said, “I’ve been going to shows in New York City since I was a kid and I have a fondness for Big Apple Con. Today’s acquisition fulfills a dream of running a mega-show in New York City unlike anything there’s ever been.” It's like he's pretending NYCC doesn't even exist.

From a reporting and fan perspective, I'm annoyed. If the date does carry over until 2010, I can't handle OR afford two big cons in one month. One is exhausting enough. It's a crazy move no matter which way you look at it.

Apr 8, 2009

DoubleDCoverage #2

I'm back with another installment of DoubleDCoverage at the Girls Entertainment Network

This week I take a look at two very different number ones. The one, the only, Barry Allen is back but should anyone who hasn’t been reading comics for over twenty years care? Also, there’s a new “good vampire” on the block trying to make a name for himself created by a new writer to DC Comics trying to do the same. Does he succeed in making a vampire I can obsess over? Read DoubleDCoverage #2 to find out.

While you're there, check out this years list of Eisner Award Nominees as well! 

Apr 7, 2009

One, two Haley's comin' for you.

Jackie Earle Haley sure likes his fedoras. He's picking up the Freddy Krueger mantle with New Line Cinemas remake of A Nightmare on Elm Street.

The Hollywood Reporter broke the news and said filming would begin May 5 in Chicago. Director Samuel Bayer had this to say of the actor:
“Looking at his performance in 'Watchmen,’ here’s a guy playing a character under a mask yet you feel tremendous empathy for him,” said Bayer of the actor. “And in Nightmare,’ he is going to be under prosthetic make-up. You have to feel something for the character. The greatest villains are multi-dimensional and I think he will bring that to the character.”
Bloody Disgusting also reported The Haunting in Connecticut star Kyle Gallner will be playing Quentin in the film (a modern version of Johnny Depp's character) which is set to be released April 16, 2010. Haley was apparently on a, no pun intended, shorlist of actors to play Freddy. “It’s what you bring to the material. He’s a well-rounded actor who will not be stereotyped by this. If anything, he’ll be celebrated for it," said Bayer.

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say he's being just a bit stereotyped but I also think he's a superb choice. Not that I think a Nightmare remake needs to be made at all but, you know. What do you think? Wouldn't it have been poetic justice to see Depp play Freddy?

Apr 6, 2009

Judgment Play?

I had a strange experience this weekend. I watched a movie that really made me think about future technology and it’s possible effects on the human species. I’d compare it to my thoughts regarding Terminator - technology is awesome, until it goes too far. Then the movie ended and I wanted to go all "Sarah Connor" and take out the game developers of the world. The movie was called eXistenZ and it absolutely sucked.

David Cronenberg directed eXistenZ (yes, that's how it's spelled) back in 1999. Allegra (Jennifer Jason Leigh) and Ted (Jude Law) are on the run from indiscriminate bad guys who want to steal the new video game she's developed. It also stars some of my favorite genre actors, Christopher Eccleston, Willem Dafoe, Ian Holm and Callum Keith Rennie. As you can see above, the system itself looks like a giant, malformed ear with an umbilical cord attached. In the film almost everyone has bio-ports installed directly into their spines for the most realistic of virtual realities. The umbilical cord gets plugged into your bio-port an voila, you're in the Matrix. I mean, game.

The system and the port are disgusting. So disgusting in fact, that Ted originally doesn't have one because he has a phobia of things penetrating his body. Don't worry! That's what the chapstick lube is for (don't get me started on what else went in there). All grossness aside, the concept of the game itself is pretty cool. Allegra and Ted enter it as the main characters. They start conversations with NPC's to figure out what to do next. If you don't say the correct dialogue the NPC will go into a loop until you do. You'll even have your characters personality and intentions mix in with yours to keep you going. Think about playing something like Resident Evil as Chris or Claire Redfield and actually walking around Racoon City speaking with a random security guard, doctor, etc. I think it sounds like fun. The only problem is, it's so real, you don't know when you've stopped playing.

That's the issue for the main characters in eXistenZ, every time they think they're out they seem to be in another game. Think about how connected people are to their Wiis, XBOXs and Playstations these days. Now think about how hard it would be to tear yourself away from a game that felt like real life but where you got to act out the impulses and actions of a fictional character with no repercussions. Parents are already worried about their kids emulating game characters, this would make game characters indiscernible from real people.

The movie was weird. I can't stress that enough. Guns made out of mutant lizard bones that shoot human teeth weird. It certainly got me thinking and I'm sure that's what David Cronenberg hoped to do but it's not surprising his movie was overshadowed by The Matrix that same year. For all the unique ideas, it just fell flat. If you're an extreme gamer or you get off watching movies about the eventual decline of the human race, eXistenZ might just be for you.

Apr 3, 2009

Sweet dreams are made of this.

And you thought they smelled bad on the outside. You've seen The Sleeping Bear, now the geniuses over at ThinkGeek bring you the TaunTaun Sleeping Bag. Too bad it's only an April Fools joke. Or is it? 
Technically it was, and a very good one at that. "This high-quality sleeping bag looks just like a Tauntaun, complete with saddle, internal intestines and glowing lightsaber zipper pull." But with something as amazing as this, geeks would not let it go.
ATTN Tauntaun Fanatics! Due to an overwhelming tsunami of requests from YOU THE PEOPLE, we have decided to TRY and bring this to life. We have no clue if the suits at Lucasfilms will grant little ThinkGeek a license, nor do we know how much it would ultimately retail for. But if you are interested in ever owning one of these, click the link below and we'll try!

Check out the pretend, hopefully-soon-to-be-real product features:
  • Classic Star Wars sleeping bag simulates the warmth of a Tauntaun carcass
  • Built-in embroidered Tauntaun head pillow
  • Glowing Lightsaber zipper pull
  • Great for playing pretend "Save Luke from the Wampa" games
  • Teach your children about the best Star Wars movie ever
  • Fully Licensed Lucasfilm™ Collectable
  • Fits children (and small adults)
  • 100% Polyester construction, Machine washable
  • Exterior Dimensions - 32" x 60"
I could probably fit the "small adults" size but I hope they make it in a larger size also so the big kids can enjoy it too.

Apr 2, 2009

DoubleDCoverage #1

I'm back with another installment of DoubleDCoverage at the Girls Entertainment Network. But wait! Isn't it too early? And what’s this #1 business all about? Well, the column has been going through some renovations recently and it seemed only fitting to play off a certain trend in comics.

Sometimes a book runs it’s course but starts up again at a later date. Usually the numbering will pick up where it left off but sometimes, in the case of a major reboot, they’ll restart it at #1 to grab new readers. That’s where DoubleDCoverage finds itself. Instead of a multiverse worth of reviews every two weeks you’ll be seeing two reviews once a week (I like Double too much!), plus a “star” rating for any other book I read that week. But wait! There’s more! I’ll also be listing which books I plan to pick up the following week and you get to help choose which two I review for the next installment!

Alright, enough talking, let’s get to it. DoubleDCoverage #1

Apr 1, 2009

Nerdy News

In this edition of Nerdy News: a wannabe vampire slayer gets her own movie, J.J. Abrams is traveling at warp speed and Daniel Craig is the mysterious key to the Clash of the Titans remake. 

Cable station IFC is adapting Laurell K. Hamilton's Anita Blake to the small screen for it's first stab at a made-for-tv film says Variety. Based on the erotic fantasy novels, the project will actually be billed under the book's Marvel comic adaptation title, Anita Blake: Vampire Hunter. Lionsgate and After Dark Films will be co-developers and the script has already been written by Glen Morgan (X-Files, Final Destination). Production begins this summer and The Hollywood Reporter says, "IFC is targeting the movie to its core base of men 18-34 and plans to air it next year." 

Huh. Really? Men 18-34? That makes absolutely no sense to me. I had no knowledge of the book series when I picked up the first issue of the comic way back when. Chick fighting vampires, it was already a hit in my mind. I think I managed to read three issues (the third bought by mistake) before I stopped. It was absolutely atrocious and I wanted to jab my eyes out with forks every time there was another shirtless vampire. It made more sense once I found out the "erotic fantasy novel" part but I still wondered if this was what "girl comics" were supposed to be. I wanted no part of them.


Paramount Pictures and J.J. Abrams announced they're moving forward with a sequel to the new Star Trek film. Ease off the thrusters there pal, your movie hasn't even been released yet.

Roberto Orci, Alex Kurtzman and Damon Lindelof have been hired to write the screenplay which they're aiming to have done by Christmas. Variety reports, "There's obviously a lot of hubris involved in signing on to write a sequel of a movie that hasn't even come out yet," said Lindelof, "But we're so excited about the first one that we wanted to proceed."

It really does take guts to begin work on a sequel when you don't even know how the public will perceive your first film. Variety says Kurtzman and the others will wait before writing too much, "Obviously we discussed ideas, but we are waiting to see how audiences respond next month," he said. "With a franchise rebirth, the first movie has to be about origin. But with a second, you have the opportunity to explore incredibly exciting things. We'll be ambitious about what we'll do."

It certainly is ambitious but I'm of the mind they might be jinxing themselves big time. I can see Lindelof at a convention down the road answering questions about the amazing story he had planned for Star Trek II: The Wrath of Locke, that never got made.


What do Mads Mikkelsen, Gemma Arterton and Alexa Davalos all have in common? They've all just been cast in the Clash of the Titans remake and they've all starred next to Daniel Craig in other films.

Mads Mikkelsen, who played the villain in Casino Royale, will play Draco. Gemma Arterton appeared in the more recent Bond flick, Quantum of Solace, and has been cast as Io. The World War II drama Defiance is where Alexa Davalos starred with Craig and will be playing the captured Andromeda.

The newcomers join Sam Worthington, who was the first to be announced, starring as Perseus in the remake of the Ray Harryhausen classic. The Incredible Hulk's Louis Leterrier will be directing. All I know is there better be a clockwork Bubo and not some CGI crap.