How could I have gone my entire life and not seen Flash Gordon? I have no idea but it sure cost me major geek points last night.
May 13, 2008
A bunch of friends gathered at my boyfriends house last night to watch a movie. There were a few things to choose from, Flash Gordon being one of them. We planned on watching it for a few minutes then putting on something else. Needless to say, everyone was mesmerized (some of us by hot pants, others by hawk men) and we wound up watching the whole thing.
About halfway through my friend George said, "You've seen this before, right Jill?" Not thinking much of it I answered, "No". Little did I know I was about to unleash a flurry of geek criticisms the likes of which I'd never been on the receiving end of. "You call yourself a geek?!" "How is that possible?!" "Ohh man, you lose at least 50 geek points for this one." Well, I felt like crawling into a ball and hiding under the couch after that.
What can I say? It wasn't on purpose I never watched it. I guess it just wasn't one of those movies that crossed my path growing up. It's totally up my alley though. I mean, my god, will there ever be anything like the 80's again? Spandex was plentiful as was intercourse. Or at least the verbal and visual representations of it. I mean, hello? What do you think is on the front of his Rocket Cycle?
Yeesh. And don't even get me started on all of the bondage. Or how about Dale telling Flash to "Save it for our kids" after only knowing him for about a day? Talk about a fast woman.
It took me forever to figure out why Ming was reminding me of Ian McKellan. I finally looked him up and found where I knew him from as an old man. Max von Sydow played Lamar Burgess in Minority Report. I also looked into Flash Gordon himself Sam J. Jones. But how about this for odd? He starred in a 1987 TV movie called The Spirit. Yes, THAT Spirit! The one written by Will Eisner and being made into a major movie for next year. He played Denny Colt. And his co-star? Nana Visitor, Kira, from Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. I also saw that she had a role on the new Battlestar Galactica, which (and don't ruin it for me) I don't even know if it's aired yet. And just to bring it all back around, Jones made a guest appearance on the Sci-Fi channels Flash Gordon series which, after seeing a clip of their hawk men, you couldn't pay me to watch.
Anyway, I loved it and I could go on and on about all the fantastic ridiculous dialogue or costumes but I won't. Though I will say, an entire soundtrack by Queen made it even better for me. I'm just hoping I can gain back at least some of the geek points I lost by writing about it. Now I must go fashion a brain drainer so I can reprogram myself to think I saw Flash Gordon when I was negative two-years-old.